Today was my first full day back in Greece. I arrived late to the island of Cephalonia last night, and spent today wandering around under dressed in the intermittent rain, but enjoying every minute of my life I could. I feel grateful. I feel happy.
As protocol, I posted my one instagram picture for the day, along with a slew of stories with my AirBNB and a large beautiful sea turtle that greeted us along our restaurant spot. Check out this big guy!
Some instagram follower wrote me, and on reading the message, I just got… irritated. Which brings us to this blog.
The message? Probably not ill-intended, however, it’s a very common message I see and one I’m frankly, quite tired of.
“Traveling again?! You’re SO lucky!”
Other messages or comments I’ve received that have been adding to my irritation follow on the lines of “You’re out again? Must be nice” and my personal favorite I received from some dude in Ireland “must be really nice to have so much *insert bag of money emoji here* to be able to travel all the time”.
It is nice.
It’s wonderful, actually.
It makes my heart soar and my lingering depression seems to stay on American time, because I feel alive. I feel like I have purpose. I feel HAPPY.
You know what’s NOT nice? You know what doesn’t get my jumping up and down and doing circles and skipping down the street?
Waking up at 4 in the morning when I’m home to get up and go to work. Well, my first job. Because I have two.
Getting home at 7 at night with not enough energy to cook dinner (I mean, I still eat obviously, I know who I am as a person). But maybe meal preps aren’t a thing I fit in my life and maybe sometimes I skip looking like a decent human being because I just don’t have any energy left to even put on mascara and try for my physical appearance when I feel like I’m literally just trying to stay alive most days.
You know what’s a bummer? Having to skip those dinners with friends and no longer frequenting the coffee stand and .. shopping days? Ha! Those are a thing of the past. (Would like to recognize my beloved friend Dawn here who has actually been the reason I’ve been able to do most of my social outings, and has also now provided 85% of my wardrobe. Dawn, you really can stop though.. I ACTUALLY love you for who you are). 😉
But it’s all fine and for me, it works. I’m willing to give up the things I used to have an extreme comfort in when I worked my standard, soul-killing 9-5 job and had more money than I needed, but less time for my dreams and ultimately, even lesser happiness.
My other favorite comment? “I wish I could do that!!!’
I want to ask them, every time I hear this, why CANT you? You can’t save money? You can’t work extra long hours, or find a second job? You can’t give up your house? You can’t give up your level of comfort you’ve become accustomed to? You can’t step down to a less-prestigious position for worries of societal pressure?
I want to tell them to replace “can’t” with “don’t want to” and see if that doesn’t better fit the bill.
And that’s OKAY.
In these years of trying to find myself, fix myself, learn about myself, I know we’re all different. I wanted to find my passion as long as I can remember. When I finally did, I thought “well shit, I kind of wish it could have been an easier one”. Sometimes I wish I COULD be content working 40 hours a week, slowly climbing a corporate ladder, and finding happiness in material things.
Truthfully, sometimes it makes me feel like I’m broken, as I think I’ve talked about before. My mom continually asks me to just “bloom where I’m planted”.. but I would have roots instead of legs if that were the path for me.
However, this is where my heart lies, and so, I chase it. And I’d like to remind these people, MY dream doesn’t have to be YOUR dream.
I’d like to remind people to see it from the other side.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard about a friend getting a promotion, buying a house, getting married, and said “oh man, I WISH I COULD HAVE THAT”. (If I did, I’m sorry).
One, it’s awkward. It takes away from that person’s accomplishment when we should be praising and celebrating other people’s achievements. I’m a personal believer in the more people living their dream, and happy, the kinder and better this world will be.
And two, it’s rude. Really. It is.
I’m not sure I’m in a place where I can say “if you want it badly enough, you’ll make it happen”. While I’d love to be traveling the world full-time, I’m not there (yet) 😉 . But I did want this badly enough.
And, to date, I did give up:
A decent paying job (twice).
A boyfriend (that was kind of a multiple win for me though, if we’re being honest).
A dating life (dating while trying to leave every chance you get doesn’t prove to be a solid foundation.)
Health Insurance (guess who’s screwed if they get real sick?)
Comfort. I actually never really know exactly how much money I’m going to make or when that’s going to be. I don’t know how long I get to have the jobs I have. I actually never know when I’m going to stop having an income. The benefit of this though: I am becoming an expert on winging it. 🙂
Working headlights. This may be lack of adulting, or lack of a guy to do stupid car things, but I actually haven’t had working headlights for quite a few months. They are way too expensive and when it came down to picking a cruise to Mexico for 5 days or headlights… well.. why would the dealership have brights as a back up on a car? I figured it was because they wanted me to take the trip?
So, Kind Sir on Instagram. Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’m a little bit lucky with just a mix of a whole lot of sacrifices, long hours, short sleeps, and extremely caffeinated days that I just waltzed into this life. 😏